Why Soft Skills Matter More Than Your Technical Know-How
You’ve got the skills, the knowledge, and the experience. You’re the go-to person when it comes to technical expertise. But here’s the catch: that’s only half the battle. What happens when you can’t explain those brilliant ideas clearly or get others on board? You might know the answer to every problem, but if your team doesn’t get what you’re saying, how effective are you really?
I’ve seen this play out countless times in our Project Leader Training sessions. You can have the best project plan in the world, but if you can’t pitch it effectively or lead a meeting where everyone feels heard, you’ll struggle to get things done.
Be Present in the Moment and Practice Self-Awareness
I learned the hard way that being present in negotiations and leadership is crucial, and it all starts with self-awareness. It’s easy to let your mind wander when you’re in a high-stakes meeting or managing a team, but when you’re not fully in the moment, you miss the subtle cues that can change everything.
Self-awareness allows you to recognize when your attention is drifting and pull yourself back to focus. I remember negotiating a large contract where I caught myself drifting off, thinking ahead about the next step. Suddenly, I realized I was missing something important. The client shifted in their seat, crossed their arms, and their tone changed when we discussed timelines. I could have easily overlooked it, but because I was self-aware enough to notice that I wasn’t fully present, I pulled myself back into the moment. I picked up on their hesitation. Instead of plowing forward with my prepared script, I paused and asked them about the deadlines. That one adjustment, because I was fully present, saved the deal.
It’s the same with managing a team. If I’m not really tuned into my team during meetings, I miss the energy shifts—like when someone is disengaged or when tension builds. Being self-aware helps me notice these things and address them before they escalate into bigger problems. This ability to remain present and observe without getting caught up in my own thoughts or distractions has made a huge difference in how I lead.
Why Body Language (and Self-Awareness) is Key to Being Present
It’s not just about what you say—it’s how you show up. Self-awareness helps you notice how your own body language might be communicating unintended messages, and it also helps you read the non-verbal cues of others. Body language plays a massive role in being truly present. The way you position yourself, make eye contact, and respond physically to what’s happening in the room sends messages that words can’t always convey. In fact, non-verbal communication often speaks louder than words, especially in high-stakes environments like negotiations or leadership meetings.
When you’re fully present, your body language reflects it. You lean in during conversations, maintain open posture, and make meaningful eye contact. These small signals show others that you’re not just physically there, but mentally and emotionally engaged. On the flip side, if you’re distracted—crossing your arms, glancing at your phone, or avoiding eye contact—people pick up on that disconnect immediately. Self-awareness plays a critical role here. It helps you monitor your own physical presence and make sure that what you’re conveying matches your words.
Body language is a powerful tool to build trust, create rapport, and foster deeper connections. It reinforces your words and shows the person in front of you that they have your full attention. Being present isn’t just about listening with your ears—it’s about communicating presence with your entire body, and self-awareness ensures you’re aligned in both verbal and non-verbal communication.
Actively Listen Without Jumping to Respond
I used to think that being a great negotiator meant always having the next response ready. I would catch myself halfway through a conversation, already planning my counter-argument before the other person finished talking. But I quickly learned that this wasn’t effective.
One time, I was deep into a negotiation for a medical equipment contract. I assumed the client’s main issue was price, and I was ready to defend our costs. But I forced myself to slow down and really listen. It turned out that price wasn’t the issue at all—they were worried about after-sales support because of a bad experience with a previous supplier. If I had jumped in too quickly, I would have completely missed their real concern.
The same applies when leading a team. I’ve had conversations with team members where I was ready to offer advice before they’d even finished explaining their problem. But when I held back and listened fully, I realized that what they needed wasn’t always a solution. Sometimes they just needed to be heard. Once I stopped thinking about what to say next and started listening more deeply, my team trusted me more, and we had more productive conversations.
Stay Curious About the Person in Front of You
Curiosity has been one of my biggest assets in both negotiations and managing people. Early in my career, I thought I needed to control the conversation, especially in sales meetings. But once I started asking more questions and showing genuine curiosity about the client’s needs, everything changed.
In one negotiation for a mobile telecommunication deal, I thought I knew exactly what the client wanted. But instead of launching straight into my pitch, I asked open-ended questions about their business challenges. What I uncovered was a completely different need—something they hadn’t even initially thought to mention. They didn’t need the most advanced technology; they needed something their team could manage without intensive training. That curiosity opened the door to a solution that perfectly fit their real need, which I would have missed if I had stuck to my agenda.
Curiosity is equally important when leading teams. Instead of assuming I know what motivates each person, I’ve made it a point to ask questions and dig deeper into what drives them. This has not only improved my leadership but also strengthened the bond within the team.
Practice Restraint
The hardest lesson I learned in both negotiating and managing people is knowing when not to speak. Early in my career, I felt the need to fill every silence and constantly prove my expertise. But over time, I realized that some of the most powerful moments come when you hold back.
During one high-stakes negotiation, I presented my offer and felt the urge to immediately justify it. But I forced myself to stay silent. The pause felt uncomfortable, but in that silence, the client started talking. They shared more about their internal concerns, which gave me the opportunity to address issues I hadn’t even considered. That moment of restraint allowed me to craft a better deal that worked for both of us.
Restraint has also made me a better leader. When one of my teams hit a major roadblock, my first instinct was to jump in and solve the problem for them. But I decided to hold back and let them find their own solution. Not only did they come up with an approach I hadn’t thought of, but they also felt more confident and capable afterward. Practicing restraint allows your team to grow and develop their own problem-solving skills, instead of relying on you to step in every time.
How These Skills Work Together
When I’m fully present, actively listening, staying curious, and practicing restraint, I can feel the difference in the quality of my negotiations and my leadership. These skills aren’t just tactics—they’ve become the foundation of how I operate. They help me uncover insights, build deeper connections, and ultimately, create more successful outcomes.
Being present in the moment, truly listening, asking the right questions, and knowing when to step back—all of these things have transformed the way I negotiate deals and lead my team. They might sound like simple concepts, but mastering them has given me the edge in both business and leadership.
The Importance of Soft Skills in Leadership
So, what can you do? Level up your communication game. This doesn’t mean ditching your technical skills—it’s about making them more powerful by adding in soft skills. Start with the basics: really listen when others are talking. Work on simplifying complex ideas so anyone can understand them, not just your fellow experts. And develop empathy, so you can see things from your team’s or client’s perspective. When you become a better communicator, people won’t just hear you—they’ll get what you’re saying and get behind your vision.
To get started, I highly recommend investing in your Negotiation Skills, and Leadership Communication Performance Skills.
These three areas are game-changers for leaders. Our Presentation Skills Training will teach you how to pitch your project plans with confidence, deliver results to your boss, and inspire teams and clients. Meanwhile, our Negotiation Skills Training will help you master the art of securing the best deals with suppliers, partners, and clients—building rapport while driving successful outcomes. These aren’t just "nice-to-have" skills—they’re essential for driving your projects and career forward.
Your Moment to Stand Out
This is your moment to stand out. Mastering soft skills like communication will separate you from others who are just focused on the technical side. These skills aren’t just “nice to have” anymore—they’re the key to unlocking your full potential. Whether you want to move up the career ladder or just make your work life easier, learning to communicate effectively is a game-changer. Enroll in our Negotiation Skills training today, and watch how much faster you can achieve your goals.
Leaders who master communication create teams that are more engaged, more creative, and more productive. By sharpening your soft skills, you’ll build stronger relationships, make better decisions, and push your career to new heights. Because at the end of the day,it’s not just about what you know—it’s how well you share it that counts.